Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
