He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
