No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
