i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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