She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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