I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
