Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
