He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
