I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
