I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
