Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
