new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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