I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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