I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
