I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
