it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
