Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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