rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
