In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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