I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
