Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
