my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
