I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
