went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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