Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
