Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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