Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
