how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
