its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
