as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I party with great urgency now.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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