we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
