she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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