why do cheetos always look like penises
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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