Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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