If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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