I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
