I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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