yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
