Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
