About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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