Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
