I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
