I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
