Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
