so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
