its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
