going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
