For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
