Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
