you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
