i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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