Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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