I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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