I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
