Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm always down for nudity.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
