I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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