Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
